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PROLOGUE
Ross Crass awoke to the crackling sound of burning
wood and inhaled the light aroma of fresh smoke. His unidentifiable
surroundings were aglow with flickering red light. He lay on a massive
black rock, eerily soft and smooth, and felt the greatest relaxation
he had ever experienced. Where am I? he wondered.
Sitting up, he beheld a sight so shocking that he
could only gasp: The rock rose high above a body of blood-red water
that stretched as far as he could see. Faint white mist floated
above the gently rolling surface of the water, kissing it now and
then as the water rolled away from the rock on all sides. Suddenly,
it occurred to Ross that it was not fire burning, as he had previously
perceived. He was surrounded by boiling water.
Startled beyond belief, Ross fell back on his elbows
when a magnificent being soundlessly materialized from out of nowhere.
It appeared to be a man, but Ross knew that it was impossible for
humans to reach the height of this figure who floated before him
now. His thick arms rippled with muscles and were the same earth-brown
color as the trunk of a timeless tree, and his hands could more
than hold Ross’s body—all 6 feet, 4 inches—without stretching to
do so. A coarse, shiny Afro topped his head, and his onyx eyes appeared
to consume everything within view. He wore a long flowing robe,
which moved as if it were blown by a wind that Ross could not feel.
The robe appeared to be made of gold, filling the space with its
rays of bright, pure light.
"What’s up, Ross?" the man asked in a voice
like a thousand blaring trumpets.
Ross opened his mouth but could not speak. Then he
spotted the enormous double mounds of wings that arched high above
the man’s shoulders. The feathers were perfect, black and silky,
like a raven’s. Who are you? Ross thought. What are you?
"I’m an angel of the Lord," he answered
Ross’s thoughts. "You in the Waitin’ Room, which got paths
to three different dimensions: One goes to the Holy City of Heaven.
The other is to Earth. And last, of course, there’s the one that
leads to Hell. I been sent as a messenger to give you a wake-up
call, my man. Your life been so evil God had to put it on pause.
He knows your sinful past and present—and the burnin’ Hell you’ll
face in the future if you don’t learn."
"Learn what?" Ross shouted. Springing to
his feet as fast as he could, he prepared to defend the truth as
it had been taught to him by his parents. God was pure and white
and despised a whole race of people so much that He had cursed them
with black skin. There were no black angels—not Michael, Gabriel,
or any of the others. In fact, this experience with the nigger thing
seemed blasphemous against God, the God whose divinity did not allow
room in Heaven for Afro hairstyles and slang-talkin’ and pimp-walking
and drive-by shootings—and all the other disgusting things he had
ever associated with blacks.
"You must learn about life!" The blaring
trumpets in the angel’s voice were full of wrath and power, causing
his throat to contract as he spoke. He balled his enormous fists,
preparing to reach back and punch the mortal deep into the dimension
of Hell, where he had a strong possibility of ending up. The angel
had heard Ross’s ugly inner conversation about what he thought of
blacks and fought to control himself. His supreme job was not to
duke it out with the mortal; he was just a messenger of God.
"Ross, what you see when you look at me?"
"An angel?" Now Ross spoke in a low voice.
He lowered his shoulders in surrender. The angel’s furious retaliation
had terrified him. Besides, he knew that it was physically impossible
to win a fight against the angel, even in a dream. But the longer
he stood on the rock, surrounded by the blood-colored water and
the slow-moving white mist, the more he began to believe it was
all real.
"That’s all you see, my man? That I don’t look
like them niggas on Earth?" The angel’s eyes were dark and
clever and smiling in the bright gold light that radiated from his
robe. He was hinting at Ross’s secret prejudice in a way that gave
Ross the impression that the angel already knew.
But Ross no longer wanted to discuss "niggas,"
skin color, or his deeply embedded hatred. He especially did not
want to reveal how drastically far he’d gone to keep his white world
free from one particular nigger, Clarence Jackson. He had tried
to blast off the ugly black face of the aspiring writer with his
gun, but the violent confrontation had ended with Ross’s taking
the bullet.
"Am I a nigga?" The angel’s voice was a
whisper. Once again, it was obvious that he already knew the question’s
answer, and his anger returned. He floated closer to Ross. Glittering
gold dust from his robe sizzled as it fell down into the boiling
red water. "Why now you scared to say what you called me and
the rest of the black race all your life? Don’t you see that’s why
God arranged this meetin’? I wasn’t even in existence before your
outrageous hatred was such that it moved Him. He needed to get an
important message to you. He sent me especially as proof that the
same God powerful enough to create white people and white angels
also creates black people and black angels. My very name was chosen
as a seal of all the evil hatred you and other prejudiced whites
carry in your hearts for the black race. But now, here you stand,
afraid to say it."
"I… do not know your… name," Ross said,
stepping backward until his feet came to the edge of the rock. This
is a trick, he thought. If I call the angel a nigger, my
chosen dimension will surely be Hell.
Ross’s thoughts immediately disappeared in terror,
as the Higher Authority swooped down and forward, stopping an inch
from the mortal’s face. Ross squeezed his eyes closed to block out
the robe’s powerful light.
"Say my name!" the angel commanded.
"Nigger." Ross whispered the word and fell
to his knees. He was so consumed by fear that he willed himself
to cry. But he could only sob tearlessly, no matter how much he
squeezed his eyes closed.
"You can open your eyes and stop tryin’ to make
tears, ’cause it ain’t happenin’ here. Tears is an Earthly thing.
There’s none of that stuff here in the spiritual realm."
Nigger pointed down to the boiling water. "Here,
everything got significance. Like this body of water that must look
strange to you. But I know you was brought up in church. You read
about the great Red Sea that parted and rose to the sky to make
an escape passage for the runaway Hebrew slaves. A great man named
Moses led the way under the strict guidance and power of our God."
"Where are you going with this?" Ross cut
off the angel’s speech in frustration. It was true that he had been
raised in a strict Christian household. He had probably read every
chapter in the Bible at least ten times and knew them well, especially
the holy battle Moses won over Pharaoh. But he did not know how
the story could be relevant to his life or why the black angel chose
to go on and on talking about it.
"This sea is relevant to your life,"
Nigger said. Again, he had heard the mortal’s thoughts. "This
is where you got to cross over to enter the dimension back to Earth.
Just like Moses and the rest of the Hebrews, who’d been in bondage
for a very long time, you in bondage too, Ross—with yourself.
All tangled up in prejudice and hate, and it done affected your
life in the worst way on Earth: You got no friends… nobody to love…
You nearly got killed after your run-in with Clarence Jackson….
But you ended up here, surrounded by the Red Sea, and it’s very
relevant. Our wonderful God done thought up a clever situation to
set your soul free!"
"What are you getting at?" Ross asked.
"You goin’ back to Earth for a second chance
to turn your life around and learn how to love all humankind. But
be forewarned: On your return, there’ll be a great surprise waitin’
for you." The golden rays of light from his robe illuminated
his serious onyx eyes. "Now it’s time I leave you to start
your… sentence," he said.
Ross closed his eyes to blot it all out, all the confusion.
This is just a bizarre nightmare, he thought. And then, with
his eyes still closed, he counted to ten. His eyes reopened to find
the tall black angel still in his presence, much to his great disappointment.
"But why me?" he yelled. "I’m sure
there are others on Earth more prejudiced than I am. Why is my life
so significant to be made an example of?"
Nigger’s wings stretched out long and wide. They began
moving back and forth, slowly at first, and then their speed increased
into a full flapping rhythm. The powerful wind from the angel’s
flapping wings blew away the steamy mist from the surface of the
red water as he lifted up into the air.
"Wait! Where are you going? What kind of surprise
will I face?" Ross’s questions were cut short as a small crack
appeared at the edge of the black rock where it met the water. The
crack expanded away from the rock, into the seabed, and the water
parted, as if some unseen creature swam just below the surface.
In a matter of seconds, there were two towering walls of blood-red
water, separated only by a dirt path that had appeared a mere step
down from the rock.
Ross beheld the brightest white light he had ever
seen in the distance. It was making its way toward him, completely
filling the large tunnel through the water. The mesmerizing effect
distracted his thoughts. He soon forgot all about the black angel,
where he was, or wondering why he was beckoned there. Nothing mattered
more than the precious white light that pierced his soul with a
feeling so overwhelmingly wonderful that he gasped, trying to stabilize
his breathing, as if he were blasted by the mighty winds of a hurricane.
In his haste to meet the light, to absorb it into
his skin and become one with it, Ross stepped down off the rock
and onto the dirt path in its direction.
CHAPTER 1
Ross’s eyes opened weakly as he awoke from sleep.
He swallowed hard, wincing, as he tasted a parched dryness in his
mouth. When he felt a tiny tingle at the bottom of his foot, he
moved his toes slightly.
Dr. Craig Taylor was at the foot of the bed, getting
ready to touch the bottom of Ross’s other foot with a needle, when
he heard Ross gasp. He glanced up to acknowledge the awakening of
his patient.
"Don’t try to speak—just rest," the doctor
said, pricking Ross’s right foot. He smiled when he saw Ross’s toes
make the same small movements as the toes on his left foot. Then
he rose and walked to the head of the bed, where Ross lay propped
up on four fat pillows.
Ross smiled back, before surrendering to the joyful
tears that filled his eyes, as he stared at the white face of the
doctor. Now he knew he had never had a spiritual confrontation with
a black angel. It was just a nightmare.
"Welcome back to the world! Honestly, you’ve
got to keep out of trouble," the young doctor said with a smile.
Dr. Taylor had first met Ross, a once reputable literary agent,
at Hartford Hospital. There had been much scandal in the news about
Ross’s white supremacist attitudes, which led him to a violent altercation
with some writer. However, Dr. Taylor never questioned the lifestyle
of his reclusive patient, who spent many days working to regain
his health.
Ross had lost his business and wealth in a legal settlement
awarded to the writer, but Dr. Taylor didn’t let that affect their
professional relationship. He had learned time and time again through
experience that a doctor’s job went far beyond professional obligation.
He was the kind of person who loved helping others, and that part
of his job was a personal quality, a gift from God in the harsh
reality of medicine. He was kind enough to help locate an affordable
place for Ross to live when he left the hospital. It wouldn’t be
permanent housing, but it would suffice until Ross could get back
to work. Dr. Taylor promised to stay in touch and reassured Ross
with the phrase he had used in the hospital: "If you ever need
me, just call."
Now, in a barely audible, raspy voice, Ross managed
to ask, "Why are you here?"
Dr. Taylor patted the other man’s hand and began to
explain what horrible events had occurred the night before.
*
Ross was sitting outside in his wheelchair in front
of his apartment building, scanning the rundown housing project
that was his new home. Sparkling pieces of shattered glass and stray
garbage speckled Hexter Street, the main road that passed through
a neighborhood of about a hundred four-story red brick buildings.
The street was overcrowded with unfamiliar black faces
of people who were outdoors now that the sweltering heat from earlier
that summer day had subsided. Children were playing football in
the street, jumping rope on the sidewalks, and leaping into cool
water that gushed from an open hydrant. Adults sat on apartment
building steps in animated gossip sessions, listening to music so
loud that it caused Ross’s wheelchair to vibrate. He had forced
himself to come outside only to escape baking to death in his oven-hot
apartment.
"Hello."
Ross jumped at the sudden sound of a young black woman’s
voice as she approached his side. He made a quick right turn in
his wheelchair, rolling from the wide asphalt walkway onto the grass
and dirt path that passed below Clyde Barren’s first-floor window.
The middle-aged black man, who lived across the hall from Ross,
was the maintenance man for the entire housing project. From the
first day, he had offered to help Ross up and down the few steps
in front of their apartment building.
But now Clyde did not seem to hear as Ross repeatedly
called his name, "Clyde! Clyde! Clyde!"
"Please, don’t go," the young woman said
with a sweet voice and disarming smile that compelled Ross to stop
calling for his neighbor. He slowly wheeled himself around to face
the ebony stranger, whose freshly permed hair reached down to her
shoulders. Her short summer dress with spaghetti straps and a bright
floral print set off her youthful good looks.
"Sorry… didn’t mean to scare you." As the
woman took a seat on the steps, her eyes darted all around, as if
she were expecting someone.
"How long you live here?" she asked.
"A couple of months," Ross replied in a
low voice. He kept distance between himself and the woman, who suddenly
surprised him with an angry stare.
"Why you here… on Hexter Street?"
"Bitch, I already told you why! Another undercover
cop to bust us for sellin’ drugs… again." The dark man who
spoke appeared from out of nowhere, followed by five other men.
He was tall and muscular, with a dull bald head. His eyes reflected
all the evil violence that he had ever brought his enemies. Gaudy
platinum-and-diamond jewelry adorned his ears, wrists, fingers,
and neck.
He and his five followers quickly surrounded Ross’s
wheelchair. The woman rose, giggling, and joined the group.
She set me up, Ross thought, as he stared
at the powerfully built guys. If they think I’m a cop, they must
have plans to kill me!
As though the leader had read Ross’s mind, he suddenly
punched the man in the chair. Blood spilled from Ross’s nostrils,
and he gasped as the black man continued, hammering his seated victim
with iron fists. Ross was helpless to avoid the blows. All he could
do was sit there in intense pain, eyes closed, hearing the gang’s
wild laughter and wondering if they would kill him.
But then he heard the sounds of a speeding car and
gunshots. He opened his swollen eyes to see a blur of everyone running
for cover, except the man who had led the attack on him—who now
lay on the ground in front of Ross’s wheelchair. He’s shot!
Ross thought. And then he feared that someone would try to kill
him too.
The last thing he heard before losing consciousness
was the sound of approaching sirens echoing in the distance.
*
"That’s what brought me here," Dr. Taylor
said, taking Ross’s hand into his own and gently squeezing it. The
attentive physician was thirty-something, with deep-set brown eyes
that clearly showed his concern over Ross’s condition. He wore his
professional white coat over a plain red T-shirt and white jeans.
"Maggie was hysterical when she called and told
me what had happened to you."
Ross heard a woman singing about the goodness of God
somewhere outside the room and frowned as he stared at Dr. Taylor.
"It’s okay," Dr. Taylor said. "That’s
Ms. Maggie Turner. You’ll meet her soon."
Ross withdrew his hand from the other man, looking
at him as if he had spoken a foreign language. He used his arms
to pull himself up into a sitting position and then fell back against
the fluffy pillows, looking for the first time at the small, practically
bare room. Directly in front of him, below a brown-curtained window,
was a wooden dresser so wide that it stretched almost from one wall
to the other. To his left, beside the bed, was a raggedy stereo
speaker-turned-nightstand; its top held a tall lamp with a ripped
tan shade and a black digital alarm clock. Ross had to squint to
focus, but finally he could read the glowing red numbers and discovered
that it was 12:30 a.m.
Ross looked puzzled as he glanced up at the doctor.
"This is not my home. Where am I?" he asked in a weak
voice.
His heart skipped a fearful beat when a short, thin,
brown-skinned woman burst through the door balancing a large soup
bowl in her hands and hymning. Her graying hair was worn back, reaching
a little below her shoulders. She had large brown eyes and deep
dimples in her cheeks. A white waist apron protected her long black-and-white
checkered dress.
When she saw him, she grinned, her deep dimples caving
even further into her cheeks. "Bless your heart, you up!"
Ross stared at the black woman, who stopped at the
side of the bed across from the doctor. His hands quickly became
fists at his sides, as he remembered the young woman who had approached
him outside on Hexter Street. "Where am I?" he repeated,
more strongly this time, glaring back at Dr. Taylor for an explanation.
The doctor held up his hands to calm Ross. "You’re
upstairs, just above your apartment." He gave a nod at the
woman, fingering a loose strand of his neck-length dark hair behind
his ear, as he continued, "Maggie and her grandson, Tracie,
are your neighbors. Last night, after your run-in with the gang,
they brought you from outside and hid you here in their home."
I would rather have died, Ross thought, staring
at the woman as if he had a bitter taste in his mouth. Then his
thoughts unexpectedly turned toward the song he had heard her singing.
Who was this God that he—and so many others—learned to worship by
faith but never saw? And though he was raised to believe that white
people were God’s favorite, he now wondered how true that really
was. Was it possible that God could actually be more faithful to
blacks than whites? After all, they were once slaves, and
yet a violent war gave them their freedom. Today, they were almost
as civilized as any distinguished white lady or gentleman. Were
You responsible for their freedom? Ross shouted at God within.
Never—You’re our God!
*
In a sudden shift of time, Ross was a nine-year-old
again, and he clearly heard the voice of his father, Benjamin. A
slight, muscular man, Benjamin had close-cropped red hair, like
Ross’s, and serious brown eyes. He and Ross were taking a long afternoon
walk along Main Street, the ill-maintained road where they lived.
Benjamin was a self-made preacher, and his wife, Gloria,
the first lady of his church. The church’s congregation consisted
of about twenty-five lower-middle-class white families, who lived
in a predominantly black neighborhood but refused to associate with
the black community. Neither Benjamin nor Gloria worked regular
jobs but made their living from the congregation’s offerings and
other meager donations.
"Son, I’m from deep in the South, where you either
really like blacks or really hate ’em. I don’t like niggers, but
my Ma and Pa do. Once, they even told me our white God made us all—all
races—equal."
Ross stopped walking and looked up at his father with
a frown. "But didn’t He? I have a white history teacher who
pretty much believes the same thing."
Benjamin looked alarmed, shaking his head. "Nonsense!
When I was a little older than you, I met a nice group of people
who was in the Ku Klux Klan. They convinced me that, although we’re
100 percent American, blacks get treated better than we do. The
Ku Klux Klan was very united and wasn’t afraid to harm or kill any
nigger who tried to live as good as whites."
Benjamin squinted down at Ross’s sudden, shocked change
of expression. The youth was obviously horrified to hear the extent
of the Ku Klux Klan’s hatred for the black race. There was much
for him to learn about life. And it was Benjamin’s God-given responsibility,
as the head of the household, to train Ross early in the way that
he should go; so said the Good Book.
"Satan’s brainwashed the government, and that’s
somethin’ God don’t like. The Almighty Himself chose Moses to lead
us from the evil ways of Pharaoh to become rulers over the Earth,
and He chose the Ku Klux Klan to guide us the same way Moses did."
Benjamin then explained that his parents had warned
him to stay away from the Ku Klux Klan. "But God ordered me
to keep my eyes open and snitch on not only the troublemakin’ blacks
but also the successful blacks—the most horrible blacks—to the local
Ku Klux Klansmen."
"Really? Were you a member?" Ross looked
happily surprised. The responsibility God had bestowed on his father
sounded very important and gave Ross a strong sense of family pride.
Benjamin smiled. "Wish to God I could’ve been.
The Ku Klux Klan always wore angel-like robes and hoods when they
went on missions. Sometimes they even rode horses!" He pretended
to ride a horse as he started circling around Ross. Then he stopped
and picked up his son. "But by the time I was old enough to
join the Ku Klux Klan, I had married your mother, and we moved up
here. God had chosen me to minister His Holy Word to the Northern
whites, the first people in this country who thought niggers were
more than slaves."
Despite the important conversation, which one day
would have meaning to him, Ross’s young life was too bleak for him
to notice any differences between whites and blacks. Kept inside,
in close sight of overprotective parents, he spent most of his time
helping to run the church or staring out windows, envious of the
happy black children playing in the neighborhood.
*
Now, Maggie’s happy face sank. She wanted to run right
back out the door and hide from Ross’s cold stare. The last time
a white person had looked at her with such hatred, she’d been a
young woman. She could tell that this man did not like blacks, and
she wondered if perhaps Tracie and she should have left him outside
to die. No, Maggie girl, God don’t like ugly thoughts, she
silently reminded herself. For she was a Christian, and was it not
her duty to help those who were in need—including her enemies? Jesus
had died on a cross as a symbol of his extraordinary love for the
entire human race, not only his followers but also the people who
had despised him.
Her mind went back to how Tracie and she had teamed
together, caring for the stranger immediately after lugging him
into their home. They had stopped the blood running from his nose,
and then Maggie washed and bandaged the cuts on his face. You
definitely needed us, and God saw fit for us to help you, Maggie
thought, as she stood eyeing Ross. Because if He hadn’t given
us the courage to risk our lives for your white behind, that gang
might have killed you. She had a strong feeling that God had
intentionally made their paths cross, and she would at least reach
out and try to make the infuriated young man understand that they
had only wanted to help him.
Maggie took a deep breath, turned, and carefully lowered
the warm bowl of soup onto the top of the stereo speaker. Resting
her hands on her hips, she turned back to Ross and smiled, as she
looked him over from bottom to top. He was dressed in brown slacks,
which the doctor had rolled up to his knees, and a bloodstained,
wrinkled beige dress shirt. Ross, who could be no more than thirty
years old, had short, disheveled hair. Its flame-red color matched
the hot, glowing rage in his emerald-green eyes.
Maggie suddenly lost control, hating Ross for hating
her, and God was far from her heart as she blurted, "We should
have left your ungrateful behind outside to die…!"
"Why didn’t you?" Ross snapped, leaning
toward Maggie. "The police were coming!" He had not asked
for their help. He didn’t owe them anything.
Maggie bowed slightly, meeting Ross’s hard stare.
"Because… if you had told the cops what happened to you, them
men would have come back and killed you. I WANTED TO PREVENT THAT!"
Maggie held her gaze. Ross had never met a black person
as honest and compassionate, and he meekly looked down into the
bowl of soup sitting on the speaker. He could tell that Maggie somehow
cared for him, a stranger who had desperately needed help, and he
had some mild respect for her, despite his deeply embedded hatred
for her race.
Then Ross asked, "What kind of soup is that?"
He had not eaten for what seemed like an eternity. When his stomach
growled at the delicious smell, he knew that he could not resist
eating—no matter where the food came from.
"Chicken noodle," Maggie replied with a
sigh, standing up straight and removing her hands from her hips.
She was furious at herself—Christians were supposed to be ever kind
and understanding—for starting an argument with the stranger. Of
course, she had spoken in anger when she rebuked him with, "We
should have left your ungrateful behind outside to die…!" But
she did not know of his bad experiences; and besides, God was the
only One to judge whether someone should live or die. He had evidently
wanted this man to stick around and be a part of their lives, for
Tracie and she had risked their own lives to save him. And here
he was, sitting in Tracie’s bed.
Maggie said, "Please forgive me… don’t usually
act that way." She quickly turned around and hurried for the
door, heading to her room. She must ask God to forgive her for thinking
evil thoughts and for having expressed them. But how could she ever
forget what it was like to be spit on or beat like an animal while
marching down long streets, protesting for equal rights? She would
also never forget the long list of names she had been called throughout
the 1940s, ’50s, and ’60s: ape, alligator, possum, coon, nigger…
and worse! Things had calmed by the 1970s, and were still more or
less controlled today. However, Maggie was trembling as she approached
the doorway, trying to fight back the roaring, burning hatred inside
that had started so long ago.
Dr. Taylor called out, "Please stay, Maggie,
I believe you may be able to help us." He walked over to the
other side of the bed, picking up the bowl of soup from the stereo
speaker and handing it to Ross, all the while in awe as he played
out in his mind what had just occurred between Ross and Maggie.
It was the first time he had detected the slightest hint of truth
in all of the slanderous news stories that had focused on Ross’s
past. And he did not approve of it at all.
The youngest of five proud children of one of the
first white men ever to record beautiful songs of soul, Dr. Taylor
was brought up around black fans, recording executives, and other
celebrities. He had gone to school with black children and had oftentimes
spent weekends at their homes. Today, he lived in a small racially
mixed community with his beautiful black fiancée and their newborn
daughter. Blacks were perfectly decent people, and Dr. Taylor would
have left Ross there alone if he had not cooled his temper.
Now Dr. Taylor remembered how Maggie had contacted
him last night. He had just finished his work at the hospital and
was walking out of his office when the loud ring of the telephone
stopped him. "Dr. Taylor, Ross Crass needs you," an excited
Maggie had blurted out, not even giving him a chance to say hello.
She went on, explaining how she had heard gunshots while sitting
in her living room watching television and ran to the window to
see a white man sitting in a wheelchair, unable to get to safety.
Maggie had said, "It’s very dangerous for a white
person to be in this neighborhood anyhow, and I knew the only way
to save the man was for me and my grandson to go out and fetch him."
Dr. Taylor then sped over to Hexter Street, where
Maggie’s grandson, Tracie, was waiting outside for him as planned.
When he saw Ross, his former patient was in a deep sleep and shining
clean, with little bandages sticking all over his face. He had laughed
at the comical appearance of Ross as he removed the bandages, which
were not really necessary. But he knew that Maggie and Tracie had
meant well. He also thought they were the kindest people he had
ever met. In fact, he believed the grandmother-and-grandson team
would be wonderful in helping Ross in his recovery—which was why
the doctor had asked Maggie to stay in the room.
When Maggie returned to Ross’s bedside, Dr. Taylor
and she stood side by side, staring down at Ross, who was busy devouring
the delicious soup.
Maggie chuckled. "There’s more if you like."
At first, Ross did not appear to hear the woman, as
he closed his eyes, savoring a spoonful of scrumptious soft noodles
and chunky chicken. Then, with a happy smile, he replied, "No,
thanks, I’m fine."
Maggie looked with a new, serious expression at the
doctor. "How can I help?"
But when Dr. Taylor answered, he was looking at Ross.
"How much do you already know about spinal cord injury? Have
you done any research since leaving the hospital?"
Ross shook his head, gulping down spoonful after spoonful
of the rich soup, as he continued to listen to the doctor.
"Well, one thing you may already know is that
the spinal cord is made up of nerve tissue that runs from your brain—all
the way down to here," Dr. Taylor said, turning and pointing
to his lower back. "The nerve tissue allows us to both control
our muscles and have sensation. The amount of sensory loss depends
on exactly where an individual is injured. For example, if someone
is injured around the neck, he or she is at risk of losing feeling
in both arms and legs, and all the rest of his or her body up to
that level—or even their life. That person is what we call a quadriplegic."
He continued, "In your case, Ross, the injury
happened around here." Dr. Taylor placed his finger at the
middle of his back. "This location is known to neurologists
as T-6. Anyone who receives an injury around here, like yourself,
is called a paraplegic and will most likely only lose control and
sensation in the legs." He turned back to Ross. "Recovering
from any disability is normally a hard, time-consuming—sometimes
even impossible—task. Many are permanently confined to a wheelchair
after an injury to the spinal cord. However, there are two kinds
of injuries, which will determine if a paraplegic or quadriplegic
will ever walk again: complete and incomplete. Complete cord
injury can never be repaired; the nerves are too severely damaged,
or possibly even severed. There’s far greater hope for someone with
incomplete cord injury, someone like you, where the damage
isn’t as bad as a complete cord injury."
Ross swallowed and frowned. He could only remember
some of this being explained to him while he was recovering in the
hospital; but at that time, he had been in too much pain to hear
what anyone was saying. "What does that mean?"
Dr. Taylor grinned. "From the impressive results
I received this morning, it apparently means you’re a very lucky
T-6, incomplete-cord-injury paraplegic!"
Ross sighed and Maggie held his trembling hand, sharing
his relief. Neither person had completely comprehended the doctor’s
neurological terminology, but "very lucky" were two words
that gave them both a lot of hope.
Dr. Taylor pulled out a needle from the pocket of
his work coat and held it in the air for Ross and Maggie to see.
Then he pricked the sole of Ross’s foot with the needle. "Feel
that?" the doctor asked.
Ross beamed as he felt a tiny tingle on the bottom
of his left foot, and Maggie’s happy dark eyes shone when she saw
Ross’s toes twitch. "Oh, my God—YES—I felt that!" Ross
exclaimed.
Dr. Taylor said, "The Man Upstairs must really
love you, because many paraplegics aren’t as fortunate as you. Furthermore,
I’m confident that you will walk again one day."
Ross nervously handed Maggie the half-empty bowl of
soup, thinking, I will walk again! The delightful news had
somehow satisfied his incredible hunger for food. Then, in another
unexpected shift of focus, he thought of how his life had dramatically
changed course in the brief time since he had met Maggie. And for
the first time ever, as Ross looked at her now, tearfully happy
to know that he would walk again, he was startled to find himself
mildly questioning the way he felt about black people.
Ross looked back at Dr. Taylor. "Where do I begin
my recovery?"
The doctor answered, "Lots of physical rehabilitation.
I know a physiatrist—a specialist in the field of physical rehabilitation—who
would be perfect for the job. His name is Dr. Peter Kline, and he
works at St. Mary’s, a small rehabilitation center not too far from
here. But Ross, you would have to stay at St. Mary’s for the long-term,
full-time treatment that the physiatrist recommends for an effective
recovery."
Then Dr. Taylor turned his attention to Maggie, continuing,
"Since Ross would be at the rehab center for a while, I figured
perhaps you and Tracie could help out, at least until he gets used
to things? In the early stages of therapy, patients normally feel
like they aren’t making any progress and often need someone to cheer
them on."
Ross grew irritable at the other two people, who began
discussing his medical situation as if he were not in the room.
He did not want to have to depend on anyone, especially someone
from the black race. He would probably always be thankful that the
woman and her grandson had so bravely rescued him from the violent
gang; but to him, they were just as much "niggers" as
those men. Anyone from that race could snap and kill. Ross knew
this to be true, especially as he recalled a painful experience
that happened when he was twelve.
It had been an unseasonably hot summer Sunday afternoon,
the kind of day Hades might decide to ride his chariot up from the
Underworld for a holiday. Ross’s father, Benjamin, stepped out in
front of his unruly organization to lead them in a protest march.
This group of a hundred local white citizens had assembled for a
specific mission: to demand better jobs, proper "white"
education for their children, and adequate health care for the elderly.
Their march began on Main Street, at the church, and was headed
all the way down to a neighborhood of raggedy apartment houses,
where Benjamin’s family lived.
Then, almost as soon as it began, the ill-tempered
march ended—stopped short by a solid wall of armed black men and
youths, who dared the angry group to continue. They shouted insults
and threats and threw a few token rocks and bottles. Baited by the
confrontational stance of the black community, some of the unruly
white marchers began attacking black-owned cars, homes, and stores.
Fortunately, the police arrived to break up the fight before it
escalated into a full-scale riot.
While ordering his ragtag group to retreat to the
church to prevent any of them from being arrested, Benjamin was
hit on the back of his head by a brick thrown from the other side
of the street. He drifted off into a coma while in the ambulance
speeding for Hartford Hospital and never awoke.
Ross looked away from Maggie. He would not even consider
accepting help from the race of people who had murdered his father
and caused such hardships for his mother. Ross would never forget
that after her husband’s death, Gloria had been forced to take a
job as a cleaning lady to support her son and herself.
But Maggie saw the doctor’s offer as a wonderful opportunity
to prove to God that she really was not prejudiced and to compensate
for the terrible words she had said to Ross. Although she had already
witnessed how enraged he became at the very prospect of her helping
him, she would not be turned down.
She reached out to hold Ross’s hand again, but he
slowly drew away from her. She gave him a knowing look. "Ross,
we come too far to quit now. God brought us together for a reason,
and I have a funny feelin’ you already know that. Now me and my
grandson want to help you… Please let us do that, okay?" She
had said it in a whisper, as if they shared a special secret, and
Ross could not deny that the woman was right.
"Yes, okay," he replied, before he could
stop himself. He could not fight Maggie’s words, for he knew them
to be true. It had already been confirmed in the dream of his supernatural
visitation from Nigger. But he was still desperate to know why God
had surrounded him with the very race that he was raised to hate.
Dr. Taylor’s pager sounded off in a series of high-pitched
beeps, and Maggie quickly led him out of the room to the telephone
in the kitchen. When five minutes later he returned to the bedroom,
he was surprised to see Ross listening intently as Maggie explained
how she had come across Dr. Taylor’s business card in Ross’s wallet
and had immediately contacted him.
The doctor interrupted Maggie and Ross’s conversation.
"I have to run—my fiancée wants me home!" They all laughed,
and Dr. Taylor shook Maggie’s hand. "It was nice meeting you,
and please give Tracie my best regards. I jotted down your number
from the label on your kitchen phone, and I’ll be calling regularly
to check up on Ross. If he gets hungry, continue to give him soups
for now, and any kind of juice will be fine." Dr. Taylor turned
to Ross and continued, "I’ll get in touch with Dr. Kline later
on today and get back to you soon. Meanwhile, rest. Maggie and Tracie
are here to help you, so let them. Don’t try to do anything alone."
As soon as Dr. Taylor left, Maggie noticed that Ross
became nervous, and she knew that he would change his mind about
accepting their help if she did not do something to calm him. Hurrying
to the kitchen, she got rid of the bowl of soup. She returned carrying
a chair, which she placed beside the bed.
She dropped down into the seat as if she were a little
girl, looking serious as she said, "I’m sorry for what happened
to you last night. When I ran to that window and saw you in danger…"
She paused to stop the tears that would have otherwise come.
Ross had been about to fake sleepiness, since he did
not know what to say to Maggie without the presence of the doctor,
the middleman, to keep everyone conversing. But he was glad that
she had made a sudden attempt to communicate with him, for several
questions plagued his mind, and he wanted answers.
"Who were those men? How could anyone be so cruel
as to attack a man in a wheelchair?" he asked.
"Just young people who know nothin’ about life,"
Maggie answered, waving aside Ross’s question. She felt equally
compelled to defend both the gang—for they were born into just one
of many black ghettoes, where almost everyone hatefully blamed whites
for whatever tribulations that they must face in the world—and Ross,
because no excuse at all could justify anyone’s beating on another
person.
She shook her head, wondering how the new black generation
could be so stupid. They used violence as a weapon to fight against
white American bigotry when education was the only thing that would
ever win the war, as she had taught Tracie from a very early age.
Young people seemed to believe that working hard and being a success
was only a white man’s dream, and that selling drugs and making
regular visits to already full jails was the only way of life for
blacks.
When Ross felt a sudden sharp pain in his ribs, he
winced, lying back on the pillows and embracing himself.
"Good Lord! Ross, want me to call Dr. Taylor?"
Maggie jumped to her feet, rushing toward the door.
Ross held up his hand to stop her. "No, I’m all
right. I was hit in a lot of different places last night."
He started laughing in spite of the incredible pain, which had passed
as quickly as it came. Things could be much worse. God could have
let the gang take his life; but instead, He had sent Maggie and
Tracie along to rescue him. Because of them, he was still alive
and laughing—that is all that really mattered for now.
Slowly lowering back into her seat, as if expecting
Ross’s pain to return momentarily, Maggie said, "Yeah, they
almost broke your nose, too, but the doctor said a couple days’
rest should heal the pain." And then, "How did you come
to live on Hexter Street?"
As Ross stared into Maggie’s kind eyes, he felt that
he could tell her anything at all, even the horrible truths about
himself. But he wouldn’t do that, not now at least. It hurt too
much every time he relived his past, and he always grew angrier
at blacks every time he thought about it.
"Hi, Nana. I’m home from work."
Ross glanced sideways—always alert for danger since
his surprise confrontation with the gang out on the street—at the
brown-skinned young man entering the room. The man was handsome,
despite his ethnicity, with eyes light brown and as large as walnut
shells, and dimples as deep as Maggie’s. He had short wavy hair
and thick eyebrows; and he wore a work uniform consisting of a short-sleeved
red and navy shirt and navy pants.
Maggie beamed. "Ross, meet Tracie, my precious
grandson."
"Nice to meet you, Ross. I hope we’ll become
friends," Tracie said, stretching forth his hand to Ross, who
returned his greeting. He was relieved that the young man had walked
into the room just in time to stop him from continuing his conversation
with Maggie.
"I would like that," Ross replied. But to
him, it was more of a question than a statement.

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